We are surrounded by contingencies, setbacks and discomforts that occasionally contribute to leaving our plans or wishes for later and in some cases, to abandon them completely. Knowing how to handle these situations and ultimately, tolerating the frustration they produce is the best tool to continue and not get stuck.
- 1 What is frustration?
- 2 How to tolerate frustration on a daily basis?
- 3 7 fundamental lessons of tolerating frustration
What is frustration?
The feeling we experience in the absence of a goal or desire or simply, when we do it but not at the level of demand that we had set ourselves is called frustration. Something like a combination of anger, anxiety, irritability, disappointment or dysphoria That inevitably implies discomfort.
Now it is important to note that Not everyone feels frustration at the same situations, nor is it experienced with the same intensity. The emotional experience of frustration is different in each person. A series of factors such as personal history, experiences and education, among others, have much to do with their experimentation. For example, two brothers may not behave the same when they fail an exam, just as two workers from the same company do not show the same behavior when their project is denied.
Experiencing frustration is more common than we imagine, especially in children, due to their poor development of skills. Thus, frustration is a natural reaction that we all live but that is not why we should stop paying attention to it. How we handle it will be decisive to prevent it from taking over our lives, invading us of discomfort and doubts and causing us a lack of motivation, which in some cases can lead to a negative self-image.
How to tolerate frustration on a daily basis?
The first step in beginning to tolerate frustration is acceptance. Accepting what happened and how we feel is the key.
Once we have identified that we are frustrated because we have not achieved what we had proposed or the situation has not developed as we expected, it is important to manage that discomfort we feel. For it, We can look for a moment of pause. A moment when we can connect with us, reflect and look in perspective.
This is nothing but checking the entire process from beginning to end. Contrasting the expectations we had in the beginning with reality will give us clues about how we are. In addition, we will recover a more pleasant and calm emotional state and we will not get carried away by the negative and intense emotions that we initially experience.
Being calm will help us explore other paths, other possible ways to do what we wanted. Even if we are frustrated by something that has happened with another person, we can also look for possible ways to solve it or to convey what we think. The point is not to get caught up in frustration but to reflect on how we can move forward in one way or another. Now, if this is not possible, accepting that we cannot do anything and extracting an apprenticeship from what happened would be the most important thing.
What It is not advisable in these cases to remain immobile in frustration, complaining and going around what happened without drawing anything in conclusion. Although we do not believe it, it is one of the most common ways to react when we experience this emotion. Ruminate, ruminate and ruminate. In addition, constantly thinking about it will not solve anything but it will tarnish everything we are doing, making our performance difficult.
7 fundamental lessons of tolerating frustration
Now that we know what frustration is and how we can manage it in our day-to-day life, it is convenient that we deepen the wonderful learning we can obtain through it. Thus, tolerating frustration teaches us that:
- Accepting has nothing to do with getting but with managing.
- Most of the time the prize is not the goal but the path taken.
- Differentiating between expectations and reality will give us clues about our emotional state.
- Staying in the complaint brings nothing and anchors us to victimhood.
- Exploring other paths is possible. Sometimes goals, relationships or our desires require more effort than we thought.
- Focusing on solutions is much more constructive We focus on the problem.
- The requirement has a limit. Everything cannot be perfect.
Frustrating us is necessary because it does not teach the value of effort and the opportunity of mistakes. But first of all, the important thing is what we do with that frustration, how we manage it and how we use it to continue growing.