The lack of emotional regulation

The lack of emotional regulation

The management of emotions for a better social interaction.

We constantly try to modify our mood, especially when we try to adjust to situations and we don't feel good about our surroundings or ourselves.


  • 1 What is emotional deregulation?
  • 2 What happens when emotional dysregulation is caused by other diseases?
  • 3 Emotion management to improve social interaction
  • 4 4 Techniques to implement better emotional regulation

What is emotional deregulation?

It is the partial or total inability to manage emotions adequately, effectively and conveniently in certain situations. In these cases, the activation, duration and intensity of these emotions may seem to some extent out of context, inappropriate and even unexpected, for the person himself and for those around him.

In a system of poor emotional regulation usually manifest accesses of aggressiveness and anger could be triggered by a situation that does not really merit it, they also occur anxiety crisis, tantrums, an almost constant and disproportionate concern, that can become uncontrollable

What happens when emotional dysregulation is caused by other diseases?

When the lack of emotional regulation is directly associated with other disorders or diseases, usually affect negatively the patient's quality of life and sometimes increases some symptoms. In my experience as a psychologist, the best is a multidisciplinary treatment, in some cases the psychologist recommends also attending the psychiatrist and neurologist, this when after doing certain tests, it is concluded that the symptoms may be associated with other disorder

Emotion management to improve social interaction

It is very true that to live in harmony in society we have to learn to manage our emotions and make use of diplomacy, because it is common to have disagreements with the people we live with every day, remember that emotional development in childhood is when it begins. For what is necessary, Teach them to identify and manage their emotions from early childhood.

"Truths told out of context can be taken as an aggression for the other person."

For example: If you had a strong disagreement due to an error of your boss, it is convenient to try to fix things in the best way directly with him, talk in a way assertive and avoid the aggressive way, so that an effective solution is reached that does not affect productivity of the company. If external in a meeting with the directors of the company the error of your immediate superior, even if you feel that your arguments are true and valid, you are likely to receive a penalty or lose your job due to lack of regulation of emotions and diplomacy... Even though you have a good curriculum, skills, experience and knowledge, then:

"In work and other contexts, attitude is often essential, equal to or more than aptitude."

Many behaviors are influenced by emotions, which are mainly controlled by the cerebral tonsil and the hypothalamus. The brain, as a command center: prepares directs, organizes and gives meaning to the action, motivating them to act or avoid behavior.

Why do we rush to worry about something that hasn't happened? When we are in balance, this is a natural response that helps us survive and adapt to some situation that we need to make a Reassessment to accommodate a better strategy, the body prepares itself when it perceives some danger, whether real or created in our mind.

However, when there is a excess anger, anxiety among others, it's because our brain is hyperactive, our body is put in a state of hyper alert, so that several neurotransmitters, including adrenaline and norepinephrine, take effect, train the body in case it requires acting quickly. However, this happens in the face of a real situation or in anticipatory anxiety created; feeling restless, irritable and constantly stressed, activates these mechanisms and puts the body to work harder.

For that reason, it is more difficult for us to carry out complex cognitive processes such as those mentioned above; this can happen by genetic predisposition and / or by some trigger that results in stress, which can turn out to be chronic due to its frequency and duration, with serious consequences for our health, this because it triggers a series of chemical reactions that after a certain period of time, become toxic to the body; and that is when it results in other diseases that could become chronic for the long period of exposure to a situation of real or fictitious stress.

The human brain is very active and loves to make stories, which are linked to emotions, which in turn are also influenced by cognitive processes such as thought and language. Remember that the act of self-control would be mediated by higher cognitive processes as well.

Psychologists can help develop programs and strategies for emotional self-regulation, learn how to properly manage emotions and that emotional responses are more appropriate to your contexts, as well as develop and strengthen your multiple intelligences and the emotional especially in these cases. It works on the training and development of this, through channeling techniques, management and sublimation from anger, assertive communication is encouraged, to name a few.

Psychologists can determine if a person with emotional deregulation can present improvement, because it builds and learns to give effective emotional responses with certain psychoeducational resources, this It is a complex personal construction processFor this reason, we can provide the strategies that best suit the patient. But we can also identify when that person, even if he tries too hard, will not be able to do so due to another associated disorder. Some cases have to work together with psychiatrists and neurologists.

In my experience as a psychologist, Patients who work in a multidisciplinary manner with health professionals have a better prognosis; It is a great support and guidance psychological support in the acceptance of the disease, adaptation and design of specialized programs that can be developed with the patient to improve their quality of life; since we work especially with the areas of language and thought to help change old harmful patterns.

The brain is very complex because it makes possible the function of all our systems, so it likes to systematize many functions and processes, so we can perform many complex actions at once in automatic, for this reason, it is necessary to train it to modify the responses by more convenient and adaptive. A scale that serves to measure this along with other professional assessments is: Emotional Interregulation Questionnaire - EIM (Little et al, 2011, adapted by F. Martínez, U. Oberst and D. Páez, 2012).

4 Techniques to implement better emotional regulation


It is an ancient practice that It includes self-observation and mindfulness, helps to increase a more complete and enlightening vision, focusing on the present, generating peace and harmony. I advise you to start with the simple and work on self-observation without falling for trial, just look and identify the emotion, it's hard not to interfere with other thoughts, but with training and perseverance you can achieve. You can start trying to do it every day for at least 5 minutes and you can increase the minutes to your pleasure and especially to your time possibilities; It is more valuable that you try to practice it daily, even if it is a few minutes, it is more beneficial than practicing for hours one day a month.

The brain generates many thoughts in just 1 minute, be patient with yourself and when you discover that you are already thinking about something else such as work, pending for today or you are simply immersed in a gigantic wave of memories whether they are pleasant or not, return to self-observation with the greatest kindness possible and as many times as necessary, without judgments as if you were simply an equanimous witness of what is happening.

Training in virtual and imaginary environments

The latter through guided meditation and relaxation techniques to rehearse emotional responses in everyday situations and contexts; Some psychologists have the necessary technology for this. You can learn sequences that you can follow to respond to your emotions, so that your brain automates them.


Is a therapy of pulsating electromagnetic fields with the proper mixture of essential oils, added to a suitable Cell nutritionas well as techniques of breathing and other resources can be of great help.


It is important to make a self-assessment as honest as possible, about the objectives we set ourselves, the course they have followed and always keep in mind to make them feasible, the resource of time and support from others if required. It is good to do this type of evaluations when a month ends, to later self-evaluate and see our areas of opportunity to work the following month.

I leave you here: 86 wonderful phrases of inner and emotional balance, which can motivate you to start making some changes.

Related topics that may interest you:

  • Anger control strategies
  • Self-control in psychology and Kanfer's model of self-regulation
  • What is emotional lability: causes, symptoms and treatment
  • The Limbic System: cognitive processes and emotional regulation


Bibliographic references

  • Barbalet, J. (2011). Emotions beyod regulation: Backgrounded emotions in science and trust. Emotion Review 3, 36-43
  • Spielberg, C.D. Manual for the State-Trait, Anxiety inventory. Palo Alto CA: Consulting psychollogist Press.
  • Tamir, R. (2011). Emotion & Emotion regulation: Two sides to developing coins.
  • Emotion review, 3, 53-61.