How can we help overcome fears of a child?

How can we help overcome fears of a child?

Many children are afraid, it is normal, in fact there are childhood fears commons that tend to coincide with the different stages of development. Here are the most common childhood fears.


  • 1 Child fears according to ages
  • 2 9 steps to help them overcome their fears
  • 3 How parents feel about their children's fears
  • 4 How we act when we ourselves are afraid
  • 5 Use of fear in the educational style

Child fears according to ages

0-2 years: Sudden loss of the base of support (neglect), loud noises, separation from parents, animals, strangers, wounds, and darkness.

3-5 years: separation of parents, animals, darkness, physical damage and disguised people.

6-8 years: separation from parents, animals, darkness, physical damage, imaginary beings (witches, ghosts, monsters ...), storms, loneliness, death and school.

9-12 years: animals, physical harm, school (exams, suspensions), physical appearance, social relationships and death.

13-18 years: school, physical appearance, social relations and death.

In most cases, fears disappear over time, but if the fears are excessive or not carried properly, it can cause them to increase and incapacitate the child in some area of ​​his life. In these cases, it is necessary to consult with a professional to teach the child how to deal with them and the parents how to handle the situation.

9 steps to help them overcome their fears

Transmit the child that being afraid is normal

We must not deny fearIt is important that the child see it as something natural that happens to everyone. Putting words to fear will help you understand: the neighbor's dog scares you, doesn't it? Many children are afraid of dogs, if you want today we will see you from here and we will be approaching the other day.

We have to explain that what now scares him a lot, as he gets older will be easier, we can be able to give examples of ourselves when we were little and give them examples of how we solved it at the time.

Create phrases that can be said at certain times

"I am brave", "nothing will happen to me", "I am strong" are messages that the child can repeat when facing situations and that counteract the messages that fear gives them as "I will have a hard time "," They will hurt me. " The negative phrases all they do is increase the fear, while the positive ones give them strength to address them and gives them a more adequate image of themselves.

Lean on other emotions such as humor, laughter, joy and even anger

It is no use convincing them that they are not afraid because it is irrational, it is more effective to give you other tools. Making up jokes about the dark, drawing pictures of duck thieves and clown noses or getting angry with a dark room and making fun of them can make children see those situations with different eyes.

Not ridicule him

Call him a coward, make jokes or punish him It will not make you face your fears properly. When the child is feeling fear, the last thing he needs is to be shown that he is not brave enough or that he is doing something wrong. It will help him more to support him and let him see that he can face fear and that we will be there to accompany him.

Focus attention on something else

When the complicated situation approaches, going to school, bedtime or the time to leave you at home with the babysitter will help you talk about positive things and have fun, we can go playing something or singing. This will help you not to get overwhelmed by anticipating the situations that scare you.

Use of security objects

We can help you calm down speaking calmly and giving him familiar objects like the sleeping bear.

How parents feel about their children's fears

Sometimes, as parents it affects us to see how they are afraid because we see them suffer or because it reminds us of old fears we had. If so, then we are likely to give it a lot of importance or that let's try to avoid the bad drink anyway. That will make the child live it with more intensity and increase his fear.

How we act when we ourselves are afraid

If we are overreacting or avoiding situations to our fears, the child will learn that these situations are dangerous and that the way out of them is by avoiding them and not facing them. If you analyze what your fears are, you are likely to find some reflected in your child (fear of spiders, elevators ...)

Use of fear in the educational style

Sometimes it is common to hear "If you do not eat the food you go to the dark room", "if you do not sleep will come the man in the bag. These actions may have very short-term effects but in the long term their consequences will be negative, will learn to obey out of fear and not because the rules have been learned and understand why.