Why do I fall in love with who I should not? This is one of the key questions that usually assail us at times when our relationships do not go as expected. Although it is hard to believe, the answer lies in ourselves. Keep reading and you'll see what we mean.
The answer: lack of self-esteem
The lack of selfesteem The person is one of the main reasons why we end up falling in love with a person who does not love us. The main problem is that the person tends not to value himself and ends up "endorsing" the other person. It is what is known as idealization.
This idealization is a determining factor when it comes to fall in love of someone who does not love us, because when we fall in love with a person we usually make it an ideal. We imagine a series of things about the other person and we tend to imagine what an idyllic relationship with her would be like.
This generates enormous frustration in the affected part to see that their wishes are not fulfilled. In turn, he tends to value himself as being inferior to the other, which encourages a lack of self-esteem.
Different situations may occur. On one side, we may fall in love with someone who does not feel the same and that this is sincere, so that an emotional relationship with that person is not initiated.
This may be hard to assume, but it will be the best possible scenario, since we will not have to fight to break an emotional bond. Even so, an idealization usually occurs when imagining what a relationship with her would be like.
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Another of the situations that can happen is that you start a relationship with a person who is not in love with us. This will be detected in the lack of details and commitment of the other person, so it is equally important to end the link and not feed this type of relationship.
Betting on this type of relationship only causes the affected person to end up feeling unhappy and unhappy and will fight in vain to try to change the feelings of the other person at all costs. It is a useless fight that must be avoided at all costs.
How to avoid falling in love with the wrong person
As we have seen, falling in love with the wrong person is the consequence of a problem that comes from ourselves. For solve it we must work on our own self-esteem.
Above all, we must focus on people who give us the attention we need and know how to end a relationship in which the emotional involvement on the other hand is not what we expect.
In most cases, fears of losing the other person arise. However, we must be aware that in a situation in which the loved one does not belong to us in the same way, their loss will be nothing more than a long-term gain. It is an investment in ourselves and in our well-being.
Above all, we must avoid thinking that fighting for the objective will make us achieve it. This is just fall into self-deception and foster a situation that can be very harmful for the affected person if he does not know how to stop it in time.
We must know that falling in love with someone and starting a relationship is a bet of life and we have to try to produce a sense of well-being. Therefore, we must ensure that the other person has the same feelings towards us, and strip ourselves of ideals and false expectations that can be very harmful.
It is very important to know how to detect the signals or data that make us see that we should not get more involved in the relationship with another person. In this way, we will avoid feeding that feeling that will only harm us in the future.
If we do so, we can have a perspective on the situation and see ourselves from the outside. In the event that we are not happy with the role we have in the relationship, it is preferable to put distance as soon as possible and focus on overcoming the relationship and rebuilding our self-esteem.
We have to keep in mind that, although it seems complicated at first, it will be time to close the wounds. Although it may seem an insurmountable issue, we must focus our energy on a project that excites us and helps us improve our self-esteem and feel fulfilled.